27 Year Old Brace Face: Never too old to get what you want

27 Year Old Brace Face: Never too old to get what you want

My family is straight outta South Carolina and hella country.   Not quite The Hillbilly’s but they possess many of the same qualities.  Never went to the doctor because Cod Liver Oil cures all, eating parts of random animals that you should never eat (a soup made out of pig's brain...REALLY) and the worse of all the process of pulling a tooth. 

I wished that my grandma followed the movies and how cool they made it look; you know tie a string around the tooth and attach it to a door.  But no, she would tilt your head back with a forceful left hand while wiggling the tooth with her right.  I use wiggle very lightly.  She used all her strength and if it wasn’t loose she pretty much made it.  If tooth only gave the slightest budge she would say “this tooth is loose.”

THIS WAS NOT GOOD NEWS!

Instead of allowing the tooth to naturally fall out; she would firmly grasp it, twist it ONE good time and YANK it out of your mouth (give me a second, I’m having PTSD just thinking about it).

I concluded that I was NOT about this life and put together a plan.  Anytime a tooth was about to come out I wouldn’t say a word and kept my grandmother far away from checking my mouth.  While it cured my fears.  It also created a problem.  My teeth weren’t coming out on their own.  This caused my teeth to grow on top of each other. 

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Just take the step: 3 ways to disempower fear

Just take the step: 3 ways to disempower fear

“Jas can you just do it for me?”

This is a phrase that I would soon become annoyed with.  I was at my former part-time gig and my co-worker’s son decided to keep me company at the front desk.  He was always entertaining and dramatic so we got along well.  It also helped the time go by.  As he was updating me on life as a high school student (which mostly involved, girls, girls, girls, and sports) I pulled out an apple.  While watching me eat, the hungry Gods hit his spirit. 

“Let me get one?”

Unfortunate for him it was the only one that I had.  However, I knew the plug.  The boxing coach had a lifetime supply of snacks in his office. 

Go ask Coach.  He got all the snacks.  He doesn’t mind, just gotta go ask him.

You would’ve thought I told him to go into an Iraq war zone by himself.  For the next two hours, I had to suffer through his “I’m sooo hungrrry” pleas.  It was too late.  I had not an ounce of sympathy.  I already told him exactly what he needed to do.  All he had to do was go ask the coach for snacks and he would’ve been good to go.

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5 ways to relax when you are stressed at work

5 ways to relax when you are stressed at work

Work can become hectic at times; and unfortunately, you can’t just say F it and walk out the door. The pressure to complete all 10 million task that has been thrown on your plate (…and due by 5pm) unexpected changes, dynamics between folks, don’t get me started on dysfunctional management; it will cause you to become STRESSED.I am pretty sure that stress from work is the leading cause of gray hair, weekend binge drinking, and why Massage Envy is still open. 

 

All we want is a moment of solitude. 

We can yearn for a chance to be able to think through the issues without developing an aneurysm in the meantime. A breath of fresh air PLEASE! Here are some ways to chill out in the middle of your workday.

Meditation

SHUT UP!

Do you just feel like screaming this?  To just have a moment where chaos doesn’t exist.  That is where meditation comes into play.  No, you don’t even have to go on a top of a mountain for hours or even travel to India; just find a good 10 minutes.  Recently, I discovered an app called “Headspace.”  Though I always wanted to give meditation a try, I had no idea what I was doing.  This app guides you through a session that is only 10 minutes, giving you tips along the way. 

 

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5 Types of Friends You Need to Be Successful

5 Types of Friends You Need to Be Successful

In college, my basketball coach had ALL the best analogies. 

From “Making the team” (a play off from Diddy’s show Making the Band), describing obstacles as “little bumps in the road,” and my favorite stay in your lane.  Stay in your lane, no we were not driving but her explanation wasn’t far off.  For the team to be successful everyone had a role that they played; if we stayed in our lane we would cover our bases and end the season as champions.  If we didn’t, well we would end up like Gonzaga

… LOSING!

Makes me think of your crew of friends.  Friends have more influence on us than we think.  They are not lying when they said that we are the sum of the people that we hang around.  Think about it for a minute.  Say there is a girl that you may not experience a personal encounter with; however you know everyone in her crew.  And they let’s say partake in some promiscuous behavior (or they are THOTs as the young folk say).  Though you may know nothing more than what ole girl looks like; you have already made up a story in your head of all the guys that she has slept with just because of the people she decided to associate herself with (don’t act like you don’t be judging folks in the group chat).

Each friend has something different that they bring to the table.  Everyone has a different lane that they play and if filled you might see yourself winning the championship (being successful, achieving goals, just being a boss).  

So, who are these people?

The Achiever

Shining, shining, shining riiiight.  Yeah, all they do is win.  It seems as if every week they are knocking down another milestone; job promotion, bought a Benz, and just closed on a new house.  If the hashtag #Goals had a spokesperson, they would be it.  When looking at successful people, it can be easy to think that you are not privy to those same things.  However, seeing The Achiever on their come-up reminders you that it is possible and you get a front row seat at what you need to do to make major moves in your life.

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Why growth doesn't equal perfection

Why growth doesn't equal perfection

This life that we live is a true journey.

A LONG one at that.

ESPECIALLY when you are growing in the process. 

It’s been about 4 years from the time that I decided to embrace personal development.  Not teaching or even being a life coach but just evolving into the highest version of Jasamine.  When I started to take an honest look at how I was limiting my own self and the things that were creating a barrier between me and what I wanted to accomplish in life. 

In this 4 year journey, there is not a week that goes by that I don’t see a way that I can become better.  Think about it; there is 20+ years of issues that I threw under the rug and vowed to never bother that consistently show up in all types of ways (…don’t even get me started on daddy issues).  But facing the past head on has single handily changed the person that you see today.  

Which reminds me, personal development is never a completed job.  Things always get better but then out of nowhere something happens that brings up another issue within yourself. But back to what I was saying because this is a journey, there is always just enough room to backslide.

“What you mean Jas?”

We are always faced with choices several times a day.  Either it can pull you closer to your destiny or you revert to your old ways.  For example; say that you are wanted to improve your attitude at work.  Every day you try your best to walk in with a positive outlook and make it the happiest place on earth (ok, that may be a stretch but at least bearable place for 8 hours).  So far things have been going great, haven’t even felt the need to curse nobody out.  Then it happens…

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You Can Still Be Great In Spite Of Your Weakness

You Can Still Be Great In Spite Of Your Weakness

I was in the third grade.

My class was transitioning to learn the Language Arts lesson of the day.  But not me; I was packing my belongings to trek down the hallway to Ms.Cooper’s room.  She was the teacher who taught all the kids who had their issues with reading comprehension, grammar and all that English stuff (aka the remedial class).  I wasn’t just on the #strugglebus but I drove the sucka, when it came to anything dealing with grammar or spelling you could count me out; I couldn’t grasp the concept of pronouns, adjectives, adverbs, yeah ALL of it. 

When Middle School hit, my academic life went through a transformation (thanks to my 6th grade social studies teacher for believing in me) from a struggling student looking at being held back to an all A student graduating with honors and obtaining a Master’s degree (it’s not how you start but how you finish). 

Through it all a part of that insecure third grade who hated being called up to the board in fear that she wouldn’t be able to spell the words or confusing their and there still was trapped inside.  Because that is the time you learn many of the fundamental concepts of grammar; and since I was behind I still lacked what came so easy for many. 

Looking at this you may wonder how in the hell can she be a writer? Isn’t that what they do, use grammar and words to get their point across? How could this be if that is not your strength?

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Surrendering to Celibacy: 3 Lessons Learned from Sacrifice

Surrendering to Celibacy: 3 Lessons Learned from Sacrifice

I was in the mist of my valley. 

You know the point in my story where I was broke, unemployed and refusing to leave my apartment…yeah that part. 

But during that time I was entering year 3 of my situationship.  For all of you with great relationships that think that was a typo; it is actually a thing.  This is the point where you’re not together per se (you got a man? Nah I’m single) but your actions SCREAM relationship (arguing, fussing, and fighting like y'all together).  It’s a relationship without an ounce of commitment; we had our issues but that was my boo.

We had been together for a while but something weird began to happen and it was the first time that I experience this feeling.  I was on my way home from his place and I was having a heart to heart to God about my life situation.  I felt as though I had been in this low place for a while and nothing was shaking for me.  I was looking for him to do something DRASTIC in my life.  Not quite turn water into wine but maybe pop a job in my inbox or do some magic to my bank account. 

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