My Facebook friends don't want me to be great: When no one is liking your social media post

My Facebook friends don't want me to be great: When no one is liking your social media post
“Whenever I create a ratchet post or meme it gets 100 likes and tons of shares.  But let me post something about my business and it may receive 5 likes.  Can’t get no love posting anything positive smh.”

If I log onto social media and run across another post like this I might scream!

*Logs on to Facebook*

Before I am the kettle calling the pot black.  I must admit when I launched this site those were some of my thoughts.  It is common sense.  If someone rocks with you, why wouldn’t they show your new endeavor love?

In theory that sounds nice.  However we place expectations on people who may careless.  And expectations only lead to disappointment.  We believe that our Social Media “friends” and family are obligated to support our new adventure.  Then when we launch and it doesn’t happen what do we do? Let’s take a look to why your new idea isn’t receiving any social media love.

Aiming at the wrong target

Everyone isn’t going to like your product.  And they shouldn’t. Instead of selling and promoting to the masses, create a target market.  This is the niche population that CRAVES for your product.  People may not react because IT ISN’T FOR THEM. Why continue to cram it down their throats? The piece of the puzzle just doesn’t fit.  If you attempt to reach everyone you will continue to hear crickets.

 

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What an Absentee Father Taught me about Forgiveness

What an Absentee Father Taught me about Forgiveness

Father’s Day 2017.

I found myself wasting time procrastinating after church on social media.  Though I had plenty of writing to complete I wasn’t quite in the mood to deal with my tasks.  Scrolling through social media I came across hundreds of people sharing photos of them and their fathers.  It was accompanied with long paragraphs of how grateful they were to have him in their life. 

It was a great site to see but I couldn’t take looking at them any longer.  I closed my social media for the day.  A touch of envy filled my body.  My experience was different and I couldn’t relate to the feeling of having a standup man as their father.  The closest figure that I had was my big brother who is 16 years older than me.  He filled the role though it wasn’t in his job description.

The relationship with my father leaves me with memories of empty promises.  “I’ma do better baby.”  Only to follow the role to a script he wrote 27 years ago.  Birthday cards sent with the incorrect ages and promises of visits and toys that never came. 

What hurt most was that he has four children but I was the only one he made a choice not to be active in their life.  My three sisters have stories of how he is the father of the year.  In the meantime, I was left wondering if he was real or just a figment of my imagination. 

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27 Year Old Brace Face: Never too old to get what you want

27 Year Old Brace Face: Never too old to get what you want

My family is straight outta South Carolina and hella country.   Not quite The Hillbilly’s but they possess many of the same qualities.  Never went to the doctor because Cod Liver Oil cures all, eating parts of random animals that you should never eat (a soup made out of pig's brain...REALLY) and the worse of all the process of pulling a tooth. 

I wished that my grandma followed the movies and how cool they made it look; you know tie a string around the tooth and attach it to a door.  But no, she would tilt your head back with a forceful left hand while wiggling the tooth with her right.  I use wiggle very lightly.  She used all her strength and if it wasn’t loose she pretty much made it.  If tooth only gave the slightest budge she would say “this tooth is loose.”

THIS WAS NOT GOOD NEWS!

Instead of allowing the tooth to naturally fall out; she would firmly grasp it, twist it ONE good time and YANK it out of your mouth (give me a second, I’m having PTSD just thinking about it).

I concluded that I was NOT about this life and put together a plan.  Anytime a tooth was about to come out I wouldn’t say a word and kept my grandmother far away from checking my mouth.  While it cured my fears.  It also created a problem.  My teeth weren’t coming out on their own.  This caused my teeth to grow on top of each other. 

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Just take the step: 3 ways to disempower fear

Just take the step: 3 ways to disempower fear

“Jas can you just do it for me?”

This is a phrase that I would soon become annoyed with.  I was at my former part-time gig and my co-worker’s son decided to keep me company at the front desk.  He was always entertaining and dramatic so we got along well.  It also helped the time go by.  As he was updating me on life as a high school student (which mostly involved, girls, girls, girls, and sports) I pulled out an apple.  While watching me eat, the hungry Gods hit his spirit. 

“Let me get one?”

Unfortunate for him it was the only one that I had.  However, I knew the plug.  The boxing coach had a lifetime supply of snacks in his office. 

Go ask Coach.  He got all the snacks.  He doesn’t mind, just gotta go ask him.

You would’ve thought I told him to go into an Iraq war zone by himself.  For the next two hours, I had to suffer through his “I’m sooo hungrrry” pleas.  It was too late.  I had not an ounce of sympathy.  I already told him exactly what he needed to do.  All he had to do was go ask the coach for snacks and he would’ve been good to go.

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5 ways to relax when you are stressed at work

5 ways to relax when you are stressed at work

Work can become hectic at times; and unfortunately, you can’t just say F it and walk out the door. The pressure to complete all 10 million task that has been thrown on your plate (…and due by 5pm) unexpected changes, dynamics between folks, don’t get me started on dysfunctional management; it will cause you to become STRESSED.I am pretty sure that stress from work is the leading cause of gray hair, weekend binge drinking, and why Massage Envy is still open. 

 

All we want is a moment of solitude. 

We can yearn for a chance to be able to think through the issues without developing an aneurysm in the meantime. A breath of fresh air PLEASE! Here are some ways to chill out in the middle of your workday.

Meditation

SHUT UP!

Do you just feel like screaming this?  To just have a moment where chaos doesn’t exist.  That is where meditation comes into play.  No, you don’t even have to go on a top of a mountain for hours or even travel to India; just find a good 10 minutes.  Recently, I discovered an app called “Headspace.”  Though I always wanted to give meditation a try, I had no idea what I was doing.  This app guides you through a session that is only 10 minutes, giving you tips along the way. 

 

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5 Types of Friends You Need to Be Successful

5 Types of Friends You Need to Be Successful

In college, my basketball coach had ALL the best analogies. 

From “Making the team” (a play off from Diddy’s show Making the Band), describing obstacles as “little bumps in the road,” and my favorite stay in your lane.  Stay in your lane, no we were not driving but her explanation wasn’t far off.  For the team to be successful everyone had a role that they played; if we stayed in our lane we would cover our bases and end the season as champions.  If we didn’t, well we would end up like Gonzaga

… LOSING!

Makes me think of your crew of friends.  Friends have more influence on us than we think.  They are not lying when they said that we are the sum of the people that we hang around.  Think about it for a minute.  Say there is a girl that you may not experience a personal encounter with; however you know everyone in her crew.  And they let’s say partake in some promiscuous behavior (or they are THOTs as the young folk say).  Though you may know nothing more than what ole girl looks like; you have already made up a story in your head of all the guys that she has slept with just because of the people she decided to associate herself with (don’t act like you don’t be judging folks in the group chat).

Each friend has something different that they bring to the table.  Everyone has a different lane that they play and if filled you might see yourself winning the championship (being successful, achieving goals, just being a boss).  

So, who are these people?

The Achiever

Shining, shining, shining riiiight.  Yeah, all they do is win.  It seems as if every week they are knocking down another milestone; job promotion, bought a Benz, and just closed on a new house.  If the hashtag #Goals had a spokesperson, they would be it.  When looking at successful people, it can be easy to think that you are not privy to those same things.  However, seeing The Achiever on their come-up reminders you that it is possible and you get a front row seat at what you need to do to make major moves in your life.

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Why growth doesn't equal perfection

Why growth doesn't equal perfection

This life that we live is a true journey.

A LONG one at that.

ESPECIALLY when you are growing in the process. 

It’s been about 4 years from the time that I decided to embrace personal development.  Not teaching or even being a life coach but just evolving into the highest version of Jasamine.  When I started to take an honest look at how I was limiting my own self and the things that were creating a barrier between me and what I wanted to accomplish in life. 

In this 4 year journey, there is not a week that goes by that I don’t see a way that I can become better.  Think about it; there is 20+ years of issues that I threw under the rug and vowed to never bother that consistently show up in all types of ways (…don’t even get me started on daddy issues).  But facing the past head on has single handily changed the person that you see today.  

Which reminds me, personal development is never a completed job.  Things always get better but then out of nowhere something happens that brings up another issue within yourself. But back to what I was saying because this is a journey, there is always just enough room to backslide.

“What you mean Jas?”

We are always faced with choices several times a day.  Either it can pull you closer to your destiny or you revert to your old ways.  For example; say that you are wanted to improve your attitude at work.  Every day you try your best to walk in with a positive outlook and make it the happiest place on earth (ok, that may be a stretch but at least bearable place for 8 hours).  So far things have been going great, haven’t even felt the need to curse nobody out.  Then it happens…

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