Have you ever lied about something so much that you even begin to believe the story that you tell? So deep in that you don’t even know what the truth is anymore; the fiction story that you have told over and over again flows so easily off of your tongue.
What causes us to fall into these traps?
It’s fairly simple……..THE TRUTH HURTS! It hurts like hell, so instead of facing it, we look for ways to avoid the pain at ANY cost (even if it means becoming a liar).
I found myself falling into this trap; and it wasn’t until I faced the truth that I was able to learn the lesson that life was trying to teach me. Remember in MY STORY when I said that I would tell you how I was fired. Other than the folks involved; I would tell a watered down version of what happen because I couldn’t come to terms that I WAS FIRED…..
Lesson #1 Be Real
It all started when I became a part of an Inside Sales Program in the sports industry; this program was developed to teach the ins and outs of sales and after completion of the year program you were then able to be promoted to the various sales departments.
I LOVED the organization but there was one problem….I HATED my job; to the point that it became painful to clock in. So I did what every unsatisfied employee does…..I started to search for a new gig…..
As I approached the 12 month mark, my manager begun to interrogate me on what my next move should be. I knew that I couldn’t do this for another year but you also learn that if you say anything other than sales that you will be shun and exiled. So I was floating like a butterfly, stinging like a bee dodging him; always coming up with a new excuse of why we couldn’t meet.
While I was in SC for a weekend, I made up my mind that I was going to put on my big girl panties, march to my manager’s desk and tell him the truth. As we sat there, I told him exactly what was on my mind, that sales wasn’t in my future and that marketing would be a better fit for me (actually I had no idea what I wanted to do, just knew what I DIDN’T want to do).
He was taken back; from earlier conversations I had always shown interest and excelled in group sales; so he was like hold up….. wait what, this is all new?!
He said “well ok then, let me know if you see anything or if I can help.”
Lesson learned: Be real about what you want; in your career, or relationship….. actually in all facets of life. Who wants to waste their time helping you go down one path, when that is not even the road you want to travel? Now you have to find a way out of this lie that was told; which can put you in a tough position. On the flip side, you never know how willing the other person may be to help you achieve what you set out to do.
Lesson #2 For Every Action there is a Reaction
It was off of my chest, the truth was out there and I could exhale. Now my full fledged job search would begin and I would stay until a new gig was acquired. Well that is what I THOUGHT was going to happen;two days later I was called into a meeting with my Manager and our Director. To summarize the meeting it went something like this;
“Your heart isn’t in this….you have a month to hit this number or we will have to terminate you at the end of the month……”
Ever been cracking jokes with a friend, and all of the sudden they hit you with a low blow? Like that’s why Ray Ray cheated on you with that ugly girl in 10th grade ……(you didn’t even have to go there…..). Where did that come from?
You put on a strong face but on the inside…….
That is how I felt as I sat there in the meeting. Everything was cool until they hit me with the punchline.
Three times our monthly goal, the number was up there. I must admit that I gave it an honest try only to realize that the ball was no longer in my court. The game was almost over and I was losing.
Lesson learned: Just because we make a decision does not mean that it will be smooth sailing. The Law of Newton states that for every action there is an equal or greater reaction, (Jas’s addition; the reaction will not always be in your favor). However, this reaction serves as the push that we need to jump. Face it, we will say that we are going to jump, only to stand on the edge for years………
Lesson #3 Own your Truth
It was my last day and at this point I only told two of my coworkers that I was “leaving.” After my manager told the rest of the crew that it was my final day, I started to receive the infamous question…. “What’s next?”
If you’re “leaving” it must be that you have another job set up. But I had none…. I searched high and low but no one was taking the bait.
My last stop was with my work Mama; she gave me that concerned look when I told her that I didn’t have a next move. To ease her off my back, I told her that even though there were no next steps, that my spirit felt at ease knowing that something would fall soon. Though it came out of my mouth, I didn’t believe it. What I really wanted to say was that I was SCARED AS HELL!
What if nothing came through? How was I going to pay my bills? Would I have to go back to SC? ( ….when I tell you that the Lord will make a way…but that’s another testimony for another time).
Lesson learned: Some lessons take longer than others to learn, and I must admit that I just came to terms with this one. As I said I hid behind this mask, a mask that made everything seem as if life was good. I am a Alpha female with high expectations for myself; and others have a high standard for me as well. I couldn’t tell folks that I FAILED. I would come off as weak if I told what really happened; that I would be considered a failure.
Many of us feel as if we have to keep a perfect image. So much that we project these fake images of ourselves to prove to others that we are invincible but no one is perfect. We are ALL human. When other people look at us it is almost as if they see a false sense of achievement (like the girl who had surgery on her stomach and now you’re killing yourself trying to get abs like her......realistic right...*side eye*).
What I have learned is that there is beauty in the struggle, not only for you but for others. Now when someone is going through their storms, they know that they are not alone. By seeing my battle wounds; they know that they may get beat up a little bit but they WILL SURVIVE!
The first step is to take the mask off, own the truth and not the story that you make up. Be who YOU are and not who you PRETEND to be!
While going through......it was tough. I questioned my abilities on a daily basis; but as I look back I’m overjoyed that I was fired. It is funny how life works and the way it comes full circle.
If I was never fired and unemployed, seeking a deeper relationship with God would be nonexistent.
If that relationship wasn’t developed, I would still be complacent with who I was.
If I didn’t evolve as a person, my purpose would still be lost in my head.
Since I found my purpose and chased my destiny, I am now sitting here talking y’all head off and encouraging others to stop settling, get over fear, and GO AFTER THEIR DREAM!