After a long day of working both jobs I finally make it home back into my bed. As I snuggle in and begin to reflect on my day only one thought came to mind……WTF! By now you’re probably thinking that I had a terrible day at work or one of my friends decide to be a Petty Betty. It was actually an AWESOME day for The Fear Hurdler but……………. the odds were in my favor just a little too much. You know as I encourage you all to chase your dreams I’m also in the pursuit of the same. As we always DREAM of certain things to happen when they begin to happen it can pretty much scare you……
That’s crazy right. To believe that what we want to happen will….HAPPEN! The more I see opportunities unfold and my dreams become reality anxiety kicks in and I want to run to the ride conductor and tell him to stop it. Jk Jk JK I was just playing.
I began to ascend in this roller coaster I now experience a new environment....
Not bad but just
At this point my anxiety is at an all-time high and I don’t know what to do (yes almost like that I’m playing it cool on the outside but freakin the **** out inside). Do I have a full fledged panic attack waving down the ride conductor to make him stop the ride so I can go back to the ground that is familiar of what I’m use to or do I go along for the ride?
The fear of success is real my people! When we think of fear our minds usually gravitates to the negative forgetting the possibility of a positive emotion having the same effect. So why is it that the one component that we strive has such an opposite effect?
1. Not as Good as You THINK you are
Have you ever noticed the confidence level of the cute girl in a crew that hangs around nothing but ugly girls? Let me tell you it is SKY HIGH! You can’t tell ole girl nothing just because she stands out every dude tries to holla at her when they go to the club. You can’t tell home girl nothing.
Now let’s take that same girl and change her environment to place her with a group of more attractive young ladies. Watch as a shift occurs within her as she begins to question her beauty. She now breaks down every flaw when a guy doesn’t ask for the digits. What was once a given now becomes questionable. “Maybe I’m not as pretty as I thought I was.” (even though beauty comes from the inside we have to find it within ourselves instead of searching for validation though people…look at God an lesson in the example).
The same goes for us when we break into new ground; we begin to question ourselves on things we were once bold in. I pride myself in the ability to be transparent with my situations and how to convey them to y’all. I then began to question myself…
Am I being too serious?
Do they even care?
What if I am being too honest?
Is this even well written?
But it wasn’t coming from a place of improvement but the space of doubt…..
2. Can’t Carry the Load
To whom much is given….much is required.
Ain’t that the truth! I had a manager who would get her panties in a bunch because she had tons of work to do and we would be chillin’ because we were done. But she forgot one major difference we weren’t in her position, the organization EXPECTED much more from her as a manager than they did of her team members. The higher we climb MORE will be needed whether it is time, expectations, or work load.
That’s what it is! When more is expected from us we have to get out of our routine, and don’t forget that laziness can be attractive because of the effort that has to be put into it….or lack thereof. With our current demands do we really think we can handle more? The mere thought of it can make us grab our shoes and run back to our comfort zone!
3. Bar is Sky High
If Beyoncé FINALLY releases this album (Bey if you reading this can you PLEASE hurry up and drop this stop playing with my emotions Smokeeeeeeeey) and let’s say it was TRASH, like Mariah Carey in Glitter bad we would all be bummed out.
Because she continues to snatch our edges with everything that she drops; she hits the bar,we place it higher…. she reaches up and does it all over again. And that expectation can make you run for the hills before the bar even makes a click…..
As The Fear Hurdler begins to pick up steam and make moves it has had the ability to inspire folks to chase their dream. I have even been making ground on some of my goals to become a certified Life Coach, create guest post for other sites, collaborate with other bloggers, write my first book, and develop speaking topics just to name a couple things. As more people reach out to me on how their life is transforming it shows me why I started it but also makes me think…..Can I continue to change lives? Second guessing myself once again EVEN though I have already proved it to myself of what I know for sure.
When moving out of the comfort zone and experiencing the new is never an easy feeling (if so much more people would do it). The feeling will always be new until we learn how to embrace it. It reminds me of a conversation that I had with my 11 year old niece. She is going to middle school next year and I asked her if she was excited. Of course she said yes because at the middle school she knows a lot of people that will be there. So of course I asked why does that matter to her? She then says that means I will already have friends there. I asked well at one point of time wasn’t your current friends a new friend? Because if she never left her comfort zone at one point she would never have the friends she has now……
But guess what if you run from success and the dreams that are unfolding you will continue to be stuck at day 1.....
………with the same friends
……the same experiences……
…..the same miserable feeling
…..the same job you hate
…..the same bae you can’t stand
THE SAME (oh can’t forget COMPLAINING about it all THE SAME).
Here are three ways to deal with the anxiety of success:
1. Practice your craft
It allows you to build confidence. Your foundation becomes strong and when the Little Man tries to discredit you; with conviction you can send him on his way.
2. Know that your goal is attainable
See yourself in that position of where you want to be. It’s a dress rehearsal so when it happens you already feel like you been there before.
3. Believe that you belong there
Because if you don’t think you should be there….nothing else matters.
At what point of experiencing something new do you because to feel anxiety of success? At what point can you change the action to embrace new ground instead of retreating?