“It’s week three……
And I’m STILL in the hole….Jas when are you going to get to the good stuff already?!”
Pipe down young grasshopper I’m getting there. It is all in the process but you have to make sure that you have completed the first two steps or well you will be still right ther.This being stuck stuff isn’t an overnight job but it takes a lot of perseverance and determination; at the end of the day that is what separates those who will see the light again from those that will continue to complain about the darkness.
Thus far we have discussed if we are REALLY stuck (or just lazy), how we busted our behinds that resulted us to be in the hole, and where we are headed; now it’s time to abandon this bad boy and roll out……
The dark hole that once seemed so miserable begins to reveal light; so bright that we do not understand how we missed it being there the whole time. And to answer the question it has been there the WHOLE time. We only begin to recognize it once our perception changes and we shift our mindset from helpless to HOPE. When there is a shift in mindset, our actions quickly follow. No longer are the days of “I don’t know how to get out” then turns into “how WILL I get out.”
Blueprint for steps
Last year around this time when I was STUCK, I realized that in order to get out of this place of misery I had to do some construction on myself. No not no plastic surgery….but improve from the inside out. I mean really being open to change and throwing out the idea that I had it all together….I didn’t and to be honest I was a HOT mess hooooooney. With no idea HOW I was going to get out but I was determined to do just that….GET OUT!
I began to read self-help books; how could I develop into the person that I NEEDED to be in order to climb.
We have to transform as a person before stepping out.
As my determination increased, it seemed as if I began to find cracks to step on in order to climb out. My situation didn’t change; I mean I was still at a job that didn’t fulfilled my passion…in summary I …..
and my co-workers were still aggy (they got on my LAST nerve) but when I changed none of those factors seemed to matter.
My previous mindset gave me the perception that I had no other choice but to sit there and hate everything that was going on around me. However, when I ALLOWED (not my mother, not my father, not Bonquiqui from down the street but ME) the light to come in, I now saw that it was always there! I started to search for more ways to attract light inside….
I thrive when I feel as if I can be a catalyst for change in folk’s life. My first dig out of my hole was the creation of Fit Friday (a way to encourage people to exercise more by hourly exercises on Friday and through a monthly publication). Then I created this blog that helped me to climb halfway up the hole, and when I started to be a life coach for others…..I noticed that I was far away from that feeling that I once felt (even my manager was like……ummmm something is different about you…. you seem a lot happier). I was running full speed on land again…Nothing around me had to change….I CHANGED!
Earlier we talked about how it is not an overnight change but you have to fight day by day. Because trust sometimes it is easier to go back to playing the victim. It could be as simple as saying good morning to those you encounter on the way to your desk. Just this small step can put you in a positive mind frame to tackle the other obstacles that you really do not want to do.
What does your steps look like?
It could involve drafting an email that you are scared to send, reading a book that will develop you (like yall didn’t see that one coming), letting go of past hurt, going a day without cursing that worrisome co-worker out or setting a date to go back to school. Remember one STEP is better than sitting around in the darkness.
This Looks Familiar
So you finally stop feeling bad for yourself and started to climb out of this hole and you are finally up and out! I mean you are so happy that you are Milly rockin’ on any block, life can’t be any better
Then all of the sudden darkness begins to roll in….oh hellllll to the nah am I slowly sliding back in?
You climbed out ONCE but if you’re not careful it is VERY easy to slide back in.
Remember when I said that I changed but everything around me stayed the same. I was still at this job that I knew I don’t hold a future in (Confusing A Pit Stop For The Destination) and I noticed that I was turning back into an A-hole.
Don’t talk to me, better yet don’t even look at me. I was throwing fits about pointless situations, began to point the finger at everyone else, and don’t get me started with the FTS moments at work(F*** this ish).
You ever start to watch a movie and five minutes in you noticed that you saw it before. Yep… all of my actions started to look familiar and I already knew what the end of the movie would be before I even finished watching it.
Never forget the signs of how you got there the first time as it will aid you in detecting when you are headed that way again (stoping it before it starts definitely beats waking up in a dark hole wondering how did I get there). Brace yourself, and hit a couple of those steps to get you back right. Be PROACTIVE instead of reactive.
I know how frustrating feeling STUCK can be; but I’m telling you from the other side that YOU WILL SEE THE LIGHT. The feeling is only temporary but it starts and ends with YOU. Stop throwing yourself a pity party, lace up the boots and GET TO WORK! You’re unstuck now, and the world is yours.