When you don’t know the answers…..

Though I am only 26 years old, my mother is a part of the older generation.  See, she actually attended segregated schools until her senior year of High School.  As I came to be older, I was always curious of my Mother’s involvement within the Civil Rights Moment. 

So in true Jasamine fashion, I fired all types of question, from if she ever participated in the sit-ins, or marched for miles….

I couldn’t wait to hear all of the stories that she would have detailing every moment…..

but she didn’t…

From that time the only thing that I could think of was…. how could she just do nothing? Why wouldn’t she want to be on the front lines of one the biggest movements in our history?

Fast forward to July 2016; I sat in my cube almost paralyzed with the mass emotions that swarmed in my head, after yet ANOTHER senseless killing.  Like everyone else, I watched the videos and my heart literally sank, then I felt anger, which turned into rage, only to result in feeling……hopeless. 

When was all of this going to stop?

Just as many of us, I didn’t know where to start in order to be the change that I wanted to see…

But for some reason I went back to the thoughts that I once had about my mother, and realized how wrong I was.  No, she wasn’t on the front lines with MLK jr or attending Black Panthers’ rallies; but she knew the one place to turn for answers and how to be apart in her own way….

So yesterday I didn’t take to social media to vent about the world wind of emotions that I felt.  But reverted to what my Ma would do…

I got on my knees and begin to pray.  I poured out every emotion that I felt that was built up inside of me.  Why does this continue to happen? How does someone take an innocent life? Lord, what are you trying to teach us? But most importantly I asked to show us the way… What is it that he wants us to do? ….Direct our paths!

We tend to look everywhere for the answers, without asking for direction from the one who holds ALL of the answers! We must ask for guidance, and then ACT on what he shows us.