3 Questions to ask when the process becomes too much

You know what gets me?

When I come up with a brilliant idea and when I start to work on it, it feels impossible.  Reminds me of Issa this season on Insecure.

After attending Coachella, Issa thought it would be dope to have a block party (black Coachella) in Inglewood. Issa knew that she could pull this event off within a month.  Excited about her new venture she went downtown to complete the necessary paperwork.  That’s when she found out that there were additional permits that she would need (and A LOT of them).  Still, Issa was a little down but not completely out of the game.  Well, that was until she started to visit local businesses for sponsorships and donations. Rejections after rejection, nobody jumped on board. She started to feel that she bit off more than she could chew.  Issa was completely OVER the idea.  What was once a huge dream that she wanted to come true now seemed like an impossible task and she was ready to throw in the towel.

You may be feeling the same way.  You had something that you were once on fire for but the process has been is harder than you expected. Which has left you discouraged.  You gave it a try, and because it was tough, you gave up on it. 

Before you throw in the towel, I want you to ask yourself these questions and reconsider and give it another shot.

What research have I completed?

In the episode, we can see that Issa just had an idea and ran with it.  Now, that’s cool because we often get caught up in analysis paralysis.  You know when you Google everything to death and you never actually get started.  The issue with not researching at ALL is what Issa gets faced with.  She developed short timelines not taking into consideration the extent of work that needed to be done, like various paperwork, permits, and getting local vendors and artist on board.

Ask yourself what type of research have you done before getting started? Has the lack of information resulted in setting unrealistic goals and timelines that you won’t be able to hit? This information will give you a picture of what the process may look like; so you will be able to adjust your expectations.

What are your other options?

Can I make a confession? I am stubborn at times (okay okay…A LOT of the times). 


When I start down a path I kinda want it to be my way.  So, if that way fails I don’t really see any other avenues that would lead to success (…I mean I’m pretty good how dare my plan fail).  Because of my tunnel vision, I miss other options and approaches that I could’ve taken to set me up to win.

For example, last month I launched #FearHasNoPower.  I worked months on this project and was ready for thousands of people to be on board to take the quiz, and make declarations on social media.  Well, after the launch it didn’t really go the way that I planned.  But instead of giving up on the idea entirely; I asked myself what my other options were? How could I get the message across that people could understand that they have the control to overpower their fears? 

That is when I noticed that I threw a lot at folks at one time.


What if I broke down the #FearHasNoPower process and taught it one section at a time.  That just might work! And it did, people have been able to digest the process and actually take steps to overcome their fears (and we are only one step 1; know what you want).

What are your options? Are their strategies and methods that you can use to get the results that you were looking for? You may find that a different approach will give you a totally different outcome.

P.S:  This is the PERFECT time to take inventory of your effort.  Are you putting in the work and time to set yourself up for success?  Think of it like this; are you working out in the gym one time a month but expecting to gain abs like Teyana Taylor?

Who do you know?

On the season 3 finale; you will see that Issa went to a movie at the graveyard event.  She thought it was a dope event and knew the girl that put it together.  After having a conversation with her, she saw that she experienced the same struggles but was still able to pull off a great event.  Yeah it would take work, but it was possible. 

This question has a couple parts to it.  First as yourself the question to see who do you know that has been through a similar situation.  Their experience could give you insight on what you should expect and also share with you resources to point you in the right direction.  And I know what you are thinking “Jas I don’t know anyone!” I. GOT. YOU.  Search the internet, people are always sharing stories of how they got started and navigated through tough times.  That’s why I LOVE listening to NPR’s “How I built this,” I don’t know CEOs or Founders of some of the biggest brands in the world but I can learn by hearing their stories.

When you ask yourself this question, you can also see who you know that can help you.  Issa was overwhelmed because she was trying to tackle the project herself with no help.  But when she linked up with ole girl from the movie, it started to feel manageable.  Issa could knock out certain task, and she could help with the contacts that she had (my predications for next season; it WILL get messy between them since she is dating Lawrence…but we will talk about that later).  Who do you know that can help you?

You may feel that you should give up when the process gets tough.  But if it is something that you want in life; don’t change the dream, just change how you approach it.  And for Issa, guess we will have to see how Black Coachella plays out!