Posts in blog
Let Me Guess 2019 Is Going To Be Your Year Too, Huh...

It’s the beginning of December. Which means that 2019 will be here next week. Once we complete all of the Christmas shopping it is time to mentally prepare for 2019. I’m already seeing how everyone is claiming the New Year as THEIR YEAR. Mostly from people who said that 2018 was going to be the year (but that ain’t none of my business though).

I can’t front, I was one of those people. I entered 2018 with high expectations of what I was going to achieve. It would be the year that I was going to quit my full time job. I would be traveling every week to a new speaking engagement. And The Fear Hurdler would be a household name. At the top of the year if you remember I re branded with a new logo, website and was ready to take over the world.

By August, none of the things that I thought would come to life did. Instead, I was confused on the content that I wanted to post, no idea of what my signature talks would be, a sub-par launch of the #FearHasNoPower Movement, and only making a couple dollars here and there in regards to revenue from t-shirt sells. 2018 wasn’t looking good for ya girl at all.

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3 Questions to ask when the process becomes too much

You know what gets me?

When I come up with a brilliant idea and when I start to work on it, it feels impossible.  Reminds me of Issa this season on Insecure.

After attending Coachella, Issa thought it would be dope to have a block party (black Coachella) in Inglewood. Issa knew that she could pull this event off within a month.  Excited about her new venture she went downtown to complete the necessary paperwork.  That’s when she found out that there were additional permits that she would need (and A LOT of them).  Still, Issa was a little down but not completely out of the game.  Well, that was until she started to visit local businesses for sponsorships and donations. Rejections after rejection, nobody jumped on board. She started to feel that she bit off more than she could chew.  Issa was completely OVER the idea.  What was once a huge dream that she wanted to come true now seemed like an impossible task and she was ready to throw in the towel.

You may be feeling the same way.  You had something that you were once on fire for but the process has been is harder than you expected. Which has left you discouraged.  You gave it a try, and because it was tough, you gave up on it. 

Before you throw in the towel, I want you to ask yourself these questions and reconsider and give it another shot.

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3 Effective ways to tackle your far-fetched dream

I got it!

The idea struck me as I was sitting at work. 

I was reminiscing about my trip to the amusement park, Carowinds with my brother Ju and his family.  My nephew, DJ who was ten at the time played me.  He wanted to ride the “big rides” instead of going to kiddy land with his mom and sister.  But the moment we were about to get on the first ride he punked out and said that he had to use the bathroom.

I thought to myself at my desk. THAT’S IT! We often get excited to chase after our dreams but the fear keeps us from getting on the ride.  That would make a DOPE book.

I had the idea, so I sat down to put pen to pad.  Then a magnitude of thoughts swirled in my mind…

Wow, you’re about to write a book…

and ENTIRE book! Hundreds of pages….

Girl not a blog post but a BOOK…you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. That’s a lot of writing. You have never written that much.  Do you even have 20 pages of stuff to talk about?

My dream has always been to publish a book; now I had the perfect topic to discuss. But, I didn’t believe that I was equipped with what I needed to bring my dream to life.  So instead, I stopped working on it and walked away.

You may feel that you will never have the money to start your dream business, that you are not qualified to be a speaker, or that you will never be the head of your department.   When you see where you are now, the dream seems so far fetch and it will never come true for you.  Now you feel discouraged and you don’t want to give it a try. But today you will stop running from your big dream and give it another shot.

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How to skyrocket your success

Your stomach begins to rumble.

You noticed that you haven’t had anything to eat all date and hungry is an understatement at this point.  Of course, you check the refrigerator; and all that is in there is a piece of bacon, half empty jug of milk, and some coffee. So, you get in the car to head to a fast food spot.  There is only one problem.  You don’t have a taste for anything and no idea of what you want.

#TheStruggleIsReal

You may be experiencing the same feeling.  No, not driving around looking for something to eat.  But roaming aimlessly in life.  You hop to a new job, but it isn’t giving you the excitement that you are looking for.  You have no idea what to do with the blog that you just started.  And the business has been in the same place financially for over a year. 

And just like you don’t know what you want to eat; you may lack vision.  It is what you want to achieve or accomplish.  In conversations, I have found that many people give their attention to what they don’t want instead of deciding what they desire.  What happens is that you may find yourself feeling for more but if you fail to have a vision of where you want to go; you will spend a lot of energy going nowhere.

When you have a vision these are some of the benefits that will skyrocket your success.

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It's Time to Throw the Red Shoe #FearHasNoPower

“Sick and tired of being sick and tired” famously quoted by Fannie Lou Hamer; but I feel that, female rapper Cardi B whispered it to herself before she rolled up on Nicki Minaj. 

Desperate situation calls for drastic measures, well maybe not throwing a red heel at a chick during New York Fashion Week.  But sometimes you just get FED UP!

If you haven’t heard by now, Cardi B and Nicki have had beef over the past year.  But as Cardi states in her Instagram press release; she has let Nicki talk about her, stop her from getting money, but when it comes to talking about her child, that’s a no go.

Well let’s just say when Cardi confronted Nicki she didn’t own up to her words, and as one comment on Instagram states “turned into wallpaper when Cardi stepped to her.”

The time and place may not have been the best but every once in a while you have to show folks that you not the one to play with.

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Keep Your Group Chat From Being Trash

I pick up my phone to see 200+ unread text messages.  Let me find out that I’m lit.  But my ego is quickly diminished as I see that it is from the group chat.  With the growth of Imessage, group messages are at an all-time high.  It makes partaking in foolery convenient.  No need of screenshot a picture on Instagram and send the same message to everybody in your crew to talk shit.  Now you can just do it once and throw shade (I mean discuss) together. 

But…

It will also distract you.  9.9 out of 10, the conversations will sidetrack you from the work that you should be getting done.  The debate on if Khole should stay with Tristan is too juicy to miss out on.  And you have to add your opinion about the hypothetical dream wedding that you friend is planning right now in her head. 

So, how can you maximize your benefit of being in a group chat and keep it from being trash?

Be Selective

When you look at your phone and a group of numbers turns into a name.  You have just been added to a group chat.  Now some group chats are to disperse information at once like an upcoming trip.  Or it could be to inspire one another.  But there are other groups that were developed for the sole purpose of being messy.  And in that case, here is how you know to stay or leave.  If most of the conversation is intended to break down others then it’s time to go or place the group on mute. 

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Girl! If you don't stop playing: 3 Reasons why you MUST launch your idea

Double Dutch.

A game of time and precision.  Your coordination must flow together for the ultimate jumping experience.  Unfortunately, I feel bad for whoever turns the ropes for me, because after five minutes I guarantee that they will hate me.  I watch carefully for the perfect moment to jump in.  As soon as I move towards the ropes, I abruptly pull back. 

Nah, it wasn’t time.

I want to be like the professionals and not mess up once I get in. It has to be flawless! This causes me to sit and watch the ropes instead of getting in on the action. I’m just waiting for the perfect time.  But the time never comes.

The perfect time.

The moment when you have every penny that you will ever need, a 35-year step by step plan, and the support of President Barack Obama to launch your idea.  The idea that you can’t stop talking about and the topic of every commercial break of Insecure.  When you see others on Instagram promoting the same idea you think to yourself “I am WAY better, they don’t have nothing on me!”  The blog launch, YouTube channel, podcast, boutique, or new service.  Yeah THAT idea.  Instead of moving forward, you continue to wait for the perfect time to jump in.  But your idea can’t wait much longer, here’s why.

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The Essential Guide To Get Started On Your Idea

It's Monday morning.  Which means you are dreading your department's weekly meeting. You are two seconds from falling asleep when a thought hits you.  "This weekend was boring.  I wish there was a place I could go and just chill with like minded people.  Hmmm, maybe I should throw a monthly kickback for people who don't like going to the club but still want something to do..."

The idea hits you and after that moment you can not stop thinking about it.  However there is a problem.  You have never threw an event, and have no idea how to develop one.  Does this sound familiar? No, not the fact that your weekends are dry.  But you have an idea but no clue where to start! 

After you have generated an idea here are three steps to get you started on your journey.

Step 1: Write it down

Our brains are a powerful tool.  It controls our bodies, determines our behaviors, release hormones which allows you to grow, and processes our memories (who knew you could learn so much watching Grey’s Anatomy). It makes sense for us to believe that if we think it, that we will NEVER forget.  THE LIES! Just ask someone who just put their keys down and are unable to find them now. 

If you write it down you won’t miss a beat.  It is easy to miss details that you developed days later when you attempt to recall them from your memory.  When your idea comes to mind, write it down so you don’t find yourself in the “what was that again” moment of regret.

 

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Advice from 9 mentors in your head

Have you ever wanted to give up? The struggle to achieve success is overbearing at times.  Before you throw in the towel, read these inspirational quotes from the mentors in your head (mentors you have learned from but never met), as they offer advice to keep you going!

“The thing you fear most has no power.  Your fear of it is what has the power.  Facing the truth really will set you free.” Oprah Winfrey

“Instead of praying for success and money.  Each day I asked for courage and discipline.”  -Myleik Teele

“I don’t harp on the negative because if you do, then there’s no progression.  There’s no forward movement.  You got to always look on the bright side of things, and we are in control.  Like, you have control over the choices you make.”Taraji P. Henson

 

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