Posts tagged fear
It's Time to Throw the Red Shoe #FearHasNoPower

“Sick and tired of being sick and tired” famously quoted by Fannie Lou Hamer; but I feel that, female rapper Cardi B whispered it to herself before she rolled up on Nicki Minaj. 

Desperate situation calls for drastic measures, well maybe not throwing a red heel at a chick during New York Fashion Week.  But sometimes you just get FED UP!

If you haven’t heard by now, Cardi B and Nicki have had beef over the past year.  But as Cardi states in her Instagram press release; she has let Nicki talk about her, stop her from getting money, but when it comes to talking about her child, that’s a no go.

Well let’s just say when Cardi confronted Nicki she didn’t own up to her words, and as one comment on Instagram states “turned into wallpaper when Cardi stepped to her.”

The time and place may not have been the best but every once in a while you have to show folks that you not the one to play with.

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Just Take the Step: 3 ways to disempower fear

“Jas can you just do it for me?”

This is a phrase that I would soon become annoyed with.  I was at my former part-time gig and my co-worker’s son decided to keep me company at the front desk.  He was always entertaining and dramatic so we got along well.  It also helped the time go by.  As he was updating me on life as a high school student (which mostly involved, girls, girls, girls, and sports) I pulled out an apple.  While watching me eat, the hungry Gods hit his spirit. 

“Let me get one?”

Unfortunate for him it was the only one that I had.  However, I knew the plug.  The boxing coach had a lifetime supply of snacks in his office. 

Go ask Coach.  He got all the snacks.  He doesn’t mind, just gotta go ask him.

You would’ve thought I told him to go into an Iraq war zone by himself.  For the next two hours, I had to suffer through his “I’m sooo hungrrry” pleas.  It was too late.  I had not an ounce of sympathy.  I already told him exactly what he needed to do.  All he had to do was go ask the coach for snacks and he would’ve been good to go.

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You can still be great in spite of your weakness

I was in the third grade.

My class was transitioning to learn the Language Arts lesson of the day.  But not me; I was packing my belongings to trek down the hallway to Ms.Cooper’s room.  She was the teacher who taught all the kids who had their issues with reading comprehension, grammar and all that English stuff (aka the remedial class).  I wasn’t just on the #strugglebus but I drove the sucka, when it came to anything dealing with grammar or spelling you could count me out; I couldn’t grasp the concept of pronouns, adjectives, adverbs, yeah ALL of it. 

When Middle School hit, my academic life went through a transformation (thanks to my 6th grade social studies teacher for believing in me) from a struggling student looking at being held back to an all A student graduating with honors and obtaining a Master’s degree (it’s not how you start but how you finish). 

Through it all a part of that insecure third grade who hated being called up to the board in fear that she wouldn’t be able to spell the words or confusing their and there still was trapped inside.  Because that is the time you learn many of the fundamental concepts of grammar; and since I was behind I still lacked what came so easy for many. 

Looking at this you may wonder how in the hell can she be a writer? Isn’t that what they do, use grammar and words to get their point across? How could this be if that is not your strength?

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Give New Bae a Chance: How to let go and live fearless

I bet that it was a surprise that “The Fear Hurdler” is talking about livin’ fearless.  Of course, I like to talk about fear.  Some would even go as far as to say that I live fearlessly.  Though I would agree.  But how could I live this fearless life and still be scared? Actually deathly afraid at times.  Wouldn’t that be backwards…..

What if I told you that livin’ fearless had nothing to do with NOT experiencing fear?

Let me put it like this.  You know your ex-boo wasn’t any good.  They had Tiger Wood amounts of “Becky’s with the good hair.”  It never fails that they pop up with the “how you been big head” messages when you meet a new fine piece of chocolate; well ex boo…..that’s fear!

At this point in life, you can almost time their entrance.  You expect them to be there.  When we tend to fall for the old lies of “I’m a changed person, I promise I’ll do right this time” we fall for the old lies only to find ourselves bustin’ windows out of their car only months later. 

The dictionary tells us that the word “fearless” is to be without fear.

That’s stupid.  Fear is always going to be around.  But you really want to know what fearless really is? It’s expecting, almost anticipating FEAR, but not allowing it to hold you enslaved!

I know that when I find myself in my next relationship (bae where you at? Stop playing lol) I will look in my inbox, see the “I miss you” message and keep it moving.  If I continue to fall for the same ole lies, I will never receive the fullness in a relationship that was meant for me.  Chile, I already know what a relationship with ex-boo is going to bring me. 

But a relationship with new bae; no telling what it may bring me.  Will it guarantee happiness…….no. But I never know the new possibilities if I don’t stop replaying the past. 

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What they don't tell you about success and 3 steps to handle it

After a long day of working both jobs I finally make it home back into my bed.  As I snuggle in and begin to reflect on my day only one thought came to mind……WTF! By now you’re probably thinking that I had a terrible day at work or one of my friends decide to be a Petty Betty. 

It was actually an AWESOME day for The Fear Hurdler but…………….

...the odds were in my favor just a little too much.  You know as I encourage you all to chase your dreams I’m also in the pursuit of the same.  As we always DREAM of certain things to happen when they begin to happen it can pretty much scare you……

ISHLESS. 

That’s crazy right.  To believe that what we want to happen will….HAPPEN!  The more I see opportunities unfold and my dreams become reality anxiety kicks in and I want to run to the ride conductor and tell him to stop it.  Just kidding I was just playing.

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What one depressing TV show taught me about life

When I was developing this post my friend looked at me and said….”you’re REALLY about to write about Good Times” ……………Uh DUH! I mean it is the best show in the whole wide world.  When I tell older folks that this is my favorite show they always give me the confused look like ‘what does this 26 year old woman know about this.’ (and if your too young you may be wondering what the show Good Times is; a popular sitcom in the 70s about a family in the projects of Southside Chicago). 

Back when I had cable it was not uncommon for me to watch it faithfully every Saturday on TV Land from 10am-4pm (Yes it was Scandal type concentration don’t text or call me and don’t DARE think that I’m going to leave the house).  When I started to watch it I related to it so much that I became HOOKED (yes I have all the seasons on DVD, a lunch box, T-Shirts, two autograph posters, and have met Thelma TWICE……I’m poppin or whateva). 

Even though I didn’t grow up in the projects, life hasn’t always been easy.  Just like the show I’m the only girl with two brothers and an auntie that is always spillin’ the tea.  Yeezy may have taught you but Good Times definitely showed me a thing or two.

1. Surround Yourself With Good People

The company that you keep is KEY!  Thee Evans family always hung with some good folks.  Even though Wiona was always gossiping; she gave encouragement, was dependable, pressed the family to strive to be better.  When Florida moved to Arizona to be with her new husband Carl, she even kept an eye on the kids.  A lot of your friends won’t watch your child for two hours…. (things that make you go hmmmmmmm).

2. Your Environment Is Not An Excuse

The Evans family lived in the projects of Southside Chicago.  They were surrounded by gangs, addicts, and poverty; every element that says that you shouldn’t succeed in life.  They didn’t allow their current situation to determine what they wanted to accomplish.  It was not a stronghold to stay there, but the fuel to a better future.  James and Florida was still determined to send their kids to college (well except for JJ, there was no hope for him). How have you been allowing your current situation to hinder your future?

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When it feels wrong, you're on track!

As I the days came closer and closer until the launch date of this blog, I began to experience fear once again.  I mean, I had already overcome the initial fear of beginning, but right in the moment there was just a random wave of fear all over again.  

This time, it was different!

Do you remember going to a haunted house? The first boogie man jumps out; you don't know if you should keep running to the end, or turn around and head back to your car.  

This fear seems to become a little more intense than the time before; I guess that you didn't give in the first time it makes sure to finish the job.  It sends a couple little men to live in your head and tell you lies.  

As I the days came closer and closer until the launch date of this blog, I began to experience fear once again.  I mean, I had already overcome the initial fear of beginning, but right in the moment there was just a random wave of fear all over again.  

This time, it was different!

Do you remember going to a haunted house? The first boogie man jumps out; you don't know if you should keep running to the end, or turn around and head back to your car.  

This fear seems to become a little more intense than the time before; I guess that you didn't give in the first time it makes sure to finish the job.  It sends a couple little men to live in your head and tell you lies.  

Read More