Father’s Day 2017.
I found myself wasting time procrastinating after church on social media. Though I had plenty of writing to complete I wasn’t quite in the mood to deal with my tasks. Scrolling through social media I came across hundreds of people sharing photos of them and their fathers. It was accompanied with long paragraphs of how grateful they were to have him in their life.
It was a great site to see but I couldn’t take looking at them any longer. I closed my social media for the day. A touch of envy filled my body. My experience was different and I couldn’t relate to the feeling of having a standup man as their father. The closest figure that I had was my big brother who is 16 years older than me. He filled the role though it wasn’t in his job description.
The relationship with my father leaves me with memories of empty promises. “I’ma do better baby.” Only to follow the role to a script he wrote 27 years ago. Birthday cards sent with the incorrect ages and promises of visits and toys that never came.
What hurt most was that he has four children but I was the only one he made a choice not to be active in their life. My three sisters have stories of how he is the father of the year. In the meantime, I was left wondering if he was real or just a figment of my imagination.Read More